In part 2 of the 3 part November’s series on quality time, I want to delve into not only the significance of spending quality time with yourself but the many ways to effectively accomplish it, even if you’re busy.
Today’s topic is “6 Ways to Spend Quality Time with Yourself.”
Before diving into how to spend time on yourself, let’s discuss the benefits of doing so. Research has touted the many therapeutic and mental health benefits of alone time or, as I like to call it, “Me-Time.”
When I suggest taking a few minutes every day to have downtime or Me-Time to the many busy women I talk with every week, I usually hear responses like “I’m too busy to make time for myself” or “It’s hard to find a quiet spot” or “I have a hard time sitting still. I need to be moving.”
Injecting a bit of solitude into your overstuffed day planner isn’t a waste of time. In fact, the busier your life is, the more benefit you’ll reap from Me-time.
Why do I need Me-time?
It gives you the chance to hear your own voice and learn more about yourself. In the minute-by-minute push of information and ideas that inundate you with stimuli daily, it’s good to have time to think about what your own thoughts are, what choices you want to make, and hear your own opinion instead of the clamoring of voices around you. Solitude becomes a gateway for looking within, instead of outside yourself, for answers and allows you to learn more about who you are as a person.
It empowers you to become comfortable with yourself. Learning to trust your voice is a struggle for many women, but it’s incredibly beneficial and reinforces your self-esteem and self-confidence. It strengthens your authenticity and can impact your decisions in the future.
It improves your mental health and well-being. Studies show the significance of finding comfort in being alone. Those who do are more likely to be happier and have lower stress levels, and are less likely to experience depression.
It boosts your imagination and creativity. Research supports that people who take time to be alone lean toward being more creative. I rely on my times of solitude and my “Magic Morning time” to give me the chance to unwind, reflect and allow my imagination and creativity to flourish.
White space is the time when the most ideas come to me. It’s the time that you’re doing something, like driving to work or when you’re in the shower, but you’re also alone with your thoughts. Many an idea comes when you actually have silence from all the outside stimuli. It gives time and space for your creative ideas to surface.
It gives you space to plan and focus on your life and goals for the future. Most women are planners. We put together playdates, dinner, family vacations, business meetings, work ideas, reunions, and oh, so much more. We make time to focus and plan for work and family activities, but why don’t we do the same for our personal lives to reflect on our hopes, dreams, and aspirations?
Take some downtime… genuine quiet solitude… to reflect on your goals, focus on what you need to accomplish to get there and what matters most to you. Discover if you’re living your life authentically to who you are and your purpose in life. Need more insight on that? Click here for a free webinar with my mentor, Jack Canfield, and his guest, Lewis Howes.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
—Rumi
So, what are 6 ways to spend quality time with yourself?
Journal
I don’t journal because it’s trendy or because “everyone else is doing it.” I do it because it’s the best way for me to spend time with my thoughts. Getting the conversation in my head down onto paper helps my mind let it go and allows me to re-read and reflect on my thoughts.
When you put your thoughts and feelings to paper, your emotions can stream out, letting you be authentic, genuine, and truthful with yourself. Allowing both the good and the bad out lightens your load… relaxes the mind, and frees the spirit. Free journaling with a simply lined book is good for just streaming out thoughts. For some, a guided journal book is the answer, of which, I have 2 personal favorites. One is a Daily Positivity journal positive prompts and the other one is Soul Therapy for self-guided healing. Wherever you are in your life, either are excellent finds for supporting you and your journey.
Meditation
For the longest time, I never understood or bought into the idea of meditating. I felt like I couldn’t connect with myself or my surroundings like I thought I was supposed to. I wasn’t sure I was even doing it right or if I was going about it the right way.
A few years ago, I gave it another try, and while it was again rocky at first, I persisted. This habit is transforming my mind and life in so many ways. Every morning and evening, I meditate for 10 minutes by finding a comfortable spot, setting a timer, and sitting in silence or using a guided meditation via the Calm app. Meditation sharpens your focus, relaxes you, and calms even the most frazzled nerves. Sometimes it’s not easy at first, but over time, you will discover how much this little 10 minute morning and evening routine supports you throughout the day.
Goal Setting
In my program, “Stress to Less” Success, there’s a section on making S.M.A.R.T. goals. S.M.A.R.T. goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic/Relevant, and Time-based. If you want to be successful, you need to plan. Not having a plan for what you want is no better than taking a trip with no destination or roadmap. Whether losing weight, changing jobs, buying a house, getting out of debt, or decreasing stress, you need a plan.
You can take control of your life by setting goals. Taking time alone with your thoughts allows you to ask yourself, “what do I want to achieve?”, “where do I want to be at the end of this year (in 3 years… 5 years)?” If you don’t set goals, you end up living life on cruise control. Instead of being on auto-pilot, flying along but not really in control of your life, you need to set goals and develop a strategy. Create your own personal roadmap to get to your destination. If you’re not sure what your destination is or where exactly you want to go, it’s time to think about your life, hopes, dreams, and aspirations and decide. Take time with your thoughts to plan where you want to go in life. I love this quote…
Goal reflection
Once you have S.M.A.R.T. goals set, periodically, you need Me-time to evaluate your progress. Are you following your plan? Have you reached a milestone or the goal itself? Are your goals measurable and on track for success? If so, great! Keep doing what you’re doing. Examine your milestones and see if there are any to add to make achieving the goals more manageable.
If you’re not on track, then it’s time to review the goal and see where improvement is needed. Is it specific enough? Can you measure your progress? Does it have a due date? Is it realistic? Are you able to achieve it? Is the goal relevant to your life? Should it even be a goal anymore? If the answer is no to any of these questions, ask yourself, “does it need to change?”
Take Me-time to evaluate where changes are needed to achieve the outcome you desire. Change what’s necessary and start again. Once you reach your goal… don’t forget to celebrate and then set a new one.
Connect with your inner self
Taking time to connect with yourself in solitude is essential for your mental health. Whether walking around the block or in nature, sitting in silence, or journaling, connecting with your inner self empowers you, aligns you with your core values, and helps you live a more harmonious and fulfilling life. Experience the power of a deep connection that releases your fears and arouses a strong sense of strength within.
Me-time is a path to self-care. Just as you would a family member or friend, take time to check in with yourself and see how you’re doing. Women usually take the time to message a friend they haven’t heard from in a while to see how they are. I suggest you take this same care with yourself. Ask yourself, “How are you doing? How do you feel? Mentally? Emotionally? Physically? What can I do for you?”
When you connect to your inner self, you learn to accept and release your feelings and emotions and not suppress or numb them. Doing so is the path to lowering stress, promoting relaxation and healing.
Learn something new
I firmly believe that knowledge is power, and I consider any day that I learn something new a great day. Encourage yourself to increase your knowledge and step out of your box by learning something new.
Reading is a great escape. In very few mediums can you be whisked away in your mind to a place in history, a fictional chase, or a murder mystery in the seconds. Whether you’re a history buff… (I’m a fan!) or a fictional character kind of person, reading allows your mind to relax, expand, and helps reduce stress.
Reading is an excellent way not only to spend quality alone time but also learn. From self-help to digital courses, the range of topics for improving your knowledge and now-how are out there. Currently, I’m learning about real estate investing. It’s a topic that’s interested me for years and I’m excited at all the possibilities. Take the opportunity to create space and time to use your Me-time for learning something new.
I have to confess, every day I get up several hours early, while the house is quiet just so I can have alone time. I once heard a mentor call it “Magic Morning Time” and I have to admit, I’ve adopted that principle. Magic Morning time is the space I’ve created to meditate, read, journal, and write. These things are essential for my self-care and making time for them in solitude, lets me focus my full attention and sets me up to have a great day.
Here’s an article by Lifehack.org, 12 Learning Goals for Personal and Self-Development, with ideas to expand your mind, your health and well-being, and your life. Want to dive deeper into subjects that interest you and find an idea to meet your needs? Let’s Chat...
Learning is simply a gateway and provides you with an escape when you need it, knowledge when you seek it, and a great and satisfying pastime. Now you may be thinking, “Why do I need to learn something new?” You don’t… But you grow as a person by expanding your mind. If you’re happy where you’re at, cool… read no further but if you want to change your life, health and wellness… keep going.
You can also reduce stress by focusing on and learning a new idea or project. It distracts the mind and helps you relax. Learning can rejuvenate you by jazzing your spirit and filling it full of new life through new concepts and ideas. Successfully learning something new makes you feel good, more confident in yourself, and in your ability to tackle all sorts of new tasks.
“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.”
~ Sheryl Sandberg
You have the power to take control.
No matter how tough this may seem, you are tougher, stronger, and more determined to make things happen for yourself… to take control of your life and self-care, so your stress is less.
Need any ideas of the best ways to spend quality time on yourself? Send me an email or schedule a free 45-min Breakthrough session with me.
I’d love to discuss how you can accomplish all of this and more in your life… discover where you feel stuck, and help you create a plan specific to you. If you’re not sure where to start, this free call can help you create a SOLID and CLEAR game plan that is sustainable and fits your needs, as well as the lifestyle you want for yourself. Instead of focusing on all past things that haven’t worked, let’s zero in on, become driven and motivated by your vision for yourself and your life.
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