Stress, Sleep and the Magic Question “Why Can’t I Sleep?”

Waking up in the middle of the night is one of the most common issues I hear women complain about every day. Being unable to sleep is a significant stressor and causes even more sleepless nights. When I suffered from sleeplessness, I was frustrated, stressed out and tired. 

• I fall asleep right away but wake up at 1:00-3:00 am and can’t go back to sleep.
• I have trouble staying asleep and awaken off and on during the night.
• I have trouble falling asleep for hours but once I do, I sleep until my alarm sounds. 
• I rarely sleep at all. 

Let’s break these down.

The 2 am wake-up can happen for various reasons, such as having a lot on your mind regarding your home, family, or work. Add in worry, fear, anxiety, and hormones, and Wow, it’s a recipe for disaster. 

Falling asleep but “I can’t stay asleep” is a common issue but by no means normal. While we adapt to less sleep, it’s not healthy and not something you have to live with forever. Waking several times a night can be attributed to several other outside factors, such as:

• Drinking a lot of water or caffeine too close to bedtime may wake you in the middle of the night for a bathroom run.

• Drinking alcohol too close to bedtime prevents your Circadian rhythm from getting to REM sleep. This keeps you out of deep sleep and more in a state of being easily awoken.

• Stress is a common factor attributed to sleep disruptions. 

• A poor sleep environment is a fundamental cause of sleep issues. 

Trouble falling asleep is often caused by anxiety, worry, fear, insomnia (see below) and digestion from eating close to or right before bedtime. 

As your body is preparing to shut down for the night and relax, your digestive system is gearing up to process the food you just dumped in. You can be kept awake by heartburn, acid reflux or movement in your gut as it digests and metabolizes your food. 

Your gut has to keep working when it should be resting.  The work efforts can delay your ability to fall asleep and prevent you from getting the deep, restful sleep stage you need to feel renewed and rejuvenated the next day.

If you find yourself eating too late or feeling hungry before bed, I’ve listed Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep to help you get the sleep you need. 

Rarely sleeping at all is true chronic insomnia. While the tips, techniques and tools I use in my Stress to Less Success Program can help you optimize your body, mind and environment for a good night’s sleep, insomnia needs management by your healthcare provider for maximum results. 

The first step to stopping sleeplessness is determining WHAT sleep issue you’re having and WHY your mind starts running. By identifying these two things first, you can take the necessary steps during the day to deal with them and avoid reviewing them at night. 

So, what’s your WHAT & WHY? Got it? Sweet!

Once you’ve figured it out, then let’s move to the next question: “HOW do I stop it?”

While we women are different in many ways, when it comes to sleep, we tend to have the same complaints. Here’s a list of common issues and what I use to help combat the sleep stealers. 

To-do lists keep you up? 

• Carry a small notebook or simple to-do list sheets.
• Add them during the day to a general list (never to today’s list unless urgent because it makes your to-do list seem never-ending.)
• Take 5 minutes in the evening after dinner or right before bed to write them out.
• Keep your notebook or a sticky note pad by your bedside to get them out of mind.

Your mind running through the HOW of getting tasks done?

• Take a few minutes before bed and give it some thought. 
• Breakdown the task into steps needed to complete it. Small steps make a big job more manageable and less overwhelming. 
• Complete one step at a time and cross it off your list once complete. (I love crossing things off my list. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.)

Waking in the night playing out worries on repeat? Ask yourself:

• Why am I worried?
• Am I afraid? If so, why am I afraid?
• What’s driving my worry or fear?
• Is it justified or irrational?
• Am I playing the “what-if” game with myself?

Are you waking in the middle of the night for other reasons?

• Nothing’s worse than the middle of the night bathroom call. I found cutting back on water intake 2 hours before bed and entirely 1 hr before bed, except a sip with any nighttime medication, decreases the odds of waking up to pee.

• Eliminating caffeine intake before bed decreases your chances of it kicking in during the night. 

• Figure out what’s stressing you out. After a few hours of sleep, waking up can be caused by an overrun mind with thoughts of work, home or to-do lists. It’s helpful to tackle the topics that keep you up at night during the day and before bedtime. 

• Taking time to work out the “how-to”s and to-do list pre-bedtime will help decrease your mind wanting to wake up and think while you should be resting.

• Examine your bedroom to see what you can improve to give yourself an optimal sleep environment. For instance, a comfortable mattress, bedding, a cool room, no bright lights, white noise (ceiling fan or machine), and quietness aid in getting a good night’s sleep.

I know you’re probably thinking… “Great, but all of this takes time – time I don’t have!”

I know you’re pressed for time, BUT I find taking a few minutes now to save me hours during the night is a worthwhile investment. 

Here are Freebie Weekly/Daily Planner sheets to help you get these thoughts out of your head and down on paper. Writing them down allows your mind to forget them and you sleep better knowing you won’t forget them. 

I know we’re all pressed for time BUT I find taking a few minutes during the day to deal with what’s keeping me up at night is well worth the hours of lost sleep. 

Getting lists out of my mind so I could get back to sleep was one of the best things I ever did for my sleep issues. And yes, I still have a notepad and a pen in the nightstand drawer. 

If you’re struggling with sleep issues and don’t know where to start and/or don’t have the support or tools needed to overcome it, I want you to hear and know this: You Can Do It. It is Achievable. 

Click Here to get access to my FREE Guide: Sleep & Stress: 3 Ways To Avoid The 2 AM Wake Up For More Energy & Less Stress. 

Questions or Comments? You can comment below, send me a PM at my facebook page, Brenda Barrows Health & Wellness or email me at brenda@brendabarrows.com. 

I’d love to hear what you are struggling with and what’s keeping you up at night.